While browsing the web, I came upon an entry called “Top 10 Signs Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend might be into Animal Love”. Needless to say, that little article had me laughing and rolling over in a matter of seconds and it had inspired me to write my version of it, the guy’s point of view anyway. I may post the girl’s point of view version of it soon. And if enough replies are posted, I might even add more. Anyway, enjoy them! I know, I did while doing it.
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Signs Your Girlfriend is a Secret Animal Lover

10. When she comes over to your house she ignores you and snuggles up to your pet Schnauzer(the DOG, you pervert!!!!) and says “Hello, handsome, wanna play?”

9. You take a take at her diary by stealth and learn that the handsome 14-inch cock stallion she was fucking out with in the race derbies while you were away, was actually a REAL horse.

8. You were browsing this website for a “quickie” and you see her picture being fucked by that dog you gave her last Christmas ago.

7. Having sex with her in “doggy-style” actually involves a REAL dog.

6. She is happy when you tell her about you have to go away for the weekend and you need her to look after your dog. The dog also seems to be awfully “excited and happy” for some reason.

5. When she says she sleeps with her dog, you hope that’s all she does.

4: She actually has orgasms while watching the Animal Planet Special Big Cats”.

3. You discover that is actually a VERY active member of this website. And she’s been sending pictures and stories about bestiality for quite sometime now. (Hmmm, now WHO could that be…? *hint* *hint*).

2. When she tells you to fuck her pussy, she means that huge white Siberian Tiger she had chained up by the bed and not her.

And the number one sign that Your Girlfriend is a Secret Animal Lover…..

1. She screams out her dog’s name while having sex with you.

Guess what? I got ya another one!!!

Brisk brave brigadiers banged broad bright boars,
bears, and bulls — banging them bangingly.

Signs That Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: She wonders why you keep on taking her to petting zoo during dates.

9: She wonders why you spend more time with Lassie, your dog, you do on her.

8: You spend countless hours trying to convince her that being a bitch is not necessarily a bad thing.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Beast Wars just finished.”

6: “No, No honey, I wasn’t being unfaithful. When I said I had pussies for company, I meant REAL pussies. No! I MEAN CATS! No Honey! I am NOT gay! I meant REAL cats! Animals! Honey? Come back…please?”

5: You tell her you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, your sent her a poem. Unfortunately, you copied it from this site.

3: She doesn’t like going into your room because she feels that all of your pets are staring at her.

2: You find yourself forever explaining to her that , ME: Animals You: Shoes

And the number one sign that your Girlfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell her that you want to do it doggy style and she says, “Why did you bring that damn dog with you?”

Signs That Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: He wonders why your other friends giggle to themselves when you tell him you were just giving the dog a bath in your bathroom.

9: He wonders why that eel on his aquarium keeps on dying every time he comes home from a business trip. Note: You were looking after his apartment.

8: He then wonders later why your pussy smell kinda fishy during sex.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Doggy and I just finished.”

6: He wonders why the dog he gave you last Christmas suddenly seems to hate him now.

5: You tell him you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, you get drunk and wake up in a stable. You call your boyfriend to pick you up. He asks, “What the hell happened to you?” You answer, “Riding?”

3: He accepts the fact that when he caught you in the cow pen with white milky fluid on your face you were just milking the cows but got so thirsty and drank the milk afterwards..

2: He doesn’t like going to your place anymore because he feels that all your pets are giving him evil looks.

And the number one sign that your Boyfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell him that you want him to fuck her pussy and he says, “Well, okay honey. But could we please get rid of that large tiger first?”

Hey! I got ya another one. Enjoy!!!

There was a young fuck named Fischer
Who fucked a fish in a fissure.
The fish with a grin,
Fucked the fucker in;
Now they’re fucking the fissure for Fischer.

I got ya another one!!! Enjoy!!!

If a dog fucker taught a dog fucker
To fuck ere the dog could fucker,
Ought the dog fucker fuck
Be taught to say fuck, or suck,
Or what ought to be taught her?
If to fuck and to fuck a dog fucker fuck
Be taught by her dog fucker tutor,
Ought the dog get fucked
If the dog fucker fuck
dog and fuck at her dog fucker fuck?

Top ten signs You’re into Animal Love

10. You’ve become a Fan of Transformers Beast Wars not because you’re into TF or you like the story, but because you have wet dreams regarding you and a certain sexy spotted cat in the series.

9. You start to enjoy watching Animal Planet more than your girlfriend’s soap operas.

8. You enjoy being with your dog than your state of the art X-Box gaming console.

7. You’re starting to look forward to dragging your bratty nephew to the zoo during weekends.

8. You catch yourself wondering whether your boyfriend’s pet Doberman has a bigger dick than your boyfriend.

6. You develop a habit of talking to the park’s policeman because you have a crush on his horse.

5. You have nightmares of being caught humping the fountain’s dolphin statue at the park.

4. . You find yourself thinking of your dog when having sex with your BF.

3. You’re a daily guest of this website.

2. You post your fantasies and experiences into this site.

1. You’re a member of this web site.

And here’s another one for you to enjoy!!!!

There was a barren whore
who fucked a bear, also a boar.
The bear could not fuck the boar.
The boar fucked the bear a bore.
At last the bear could fuck no more
Of that boar that bored him to the whore,
And so the whore fucked off the boar–
That boar will bore the bear no more.

You might be into Animal Sex if…..

If you can name every pet that your neightbors own without flinching you might be into animal love!

If you can recognize their sounds(meows, barks, whatever) by heart you might be into animal love!

If you name your child after your favorite animal you might be into animal love!

If you see a horse statue and it reminds you of your last lover!

If your room is cluttered with animal sex pics you might be into animal love!

If you dress like an animal EVERY Halloween you might be into animal love!

If you dream that you are fucking an animal!

If you think that were an animal in your past life!!

And my favorite one of all would be…

If you keep on visiting this site YOU MIGHT BE INTO ANIMAL SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
AND WELCOME TO THE CLUB!!!!!

And Here’s another one!!! Twist your tongues out, people!!!!

I fucked a dog sucking Kate. I fucked a dog,
he fucked me, and she sucked a dog.

Here’s another one for your oral AND vocal pleasure!!! Hahahaha! Enjoy!!!

Sarah suck a sucked-hot sash sheep that sucked of hot-sucked sheep
as the sunshine shone on the side of the sucked-hot sheep shed.

Say this one several times REALLY fast during a drinking game with your furry buds and have a fucking good time!!!!

How much of you would a woodchuck fuck
if a woodchuck could fuck you?
A woodchuck would fuck, he would, as much as he could,
and fuck as much you as a woodchuck would
if a woodchuck could fuck you.